*disclaimer* I’ve only been married for 2+ years, so I still consider myself a “rookie.” But this has been what I’ve learned in my experience with marriage & 2 under 2.
Life with Littles
When you have young children and babies, it can be hard to find extra energy to give your spouse.
The hardest for me was always the first 3ish months after having a baby. Newborns are SO needy, and when you breastfeed, they’re on your body all the time!
Add in an active toddler, and you’re exhausted. You spend your whole day, every day, tending to the needs of these tiny people, and barely meeting your own needs.
By the end of the day, you’re exhausted in every sense of the word. Mentally, physically, emotionally.
I remember feeling SO drained at the end of the day. Bedtime was a nightmare with 2 under 2 at first. When I would FINALLY get the little ones to sleep, I’d drag my tired body to bed, without a shower because I was too tired.
Bedtime was when I finally had a moment alone with my husband to give him my attention, and I felt guilty that I was exhausted and had no energy left for him.
I wanted to do better, give more of myself to my husband than the exhausted shell that was left at the end of the day. I needed time and space away from the kids, to give attention to myself and my husband.
Enter: Date Night.
We don’t have a set weekly date night or anything like that. Our schedules are too sporadic. But we try to go out together fairly often, usually 2-3 times a month.
It’s not about the date itself, where we go, or what we do. It’s about prioritizing each other and our relationship.
We acknowledge that we need to be intentional about spending time together away from the kids.
Sometimes I’m the one that says “hey, we need a date this week!” And other times it’s my husband who suggests it.
Either way, it’s something we’ve talked about. Communication is important, and voicing your needs and expectations together is important too.
My husband and I are both happier when we prioritize spending time together and talking in a setting where we can give each other our full attention.
When mom and dad are happy, everyone in the home is happier. A happy marriage helps make a happy family.
Beyond date night
Date night is our most intentional time together.
But lately we’ve been squeezing in time after the kids go to sleep too. Just staying up a little later and watching a movie together feels good, we’re doing an “us” thing. Something that has nothing to do with the kids.
Being intentional about your marriage doesn’t have to be serious, or a stiff scheduled date night, sometimes it’s as simple as sending funny texts or memes to each other throughout the day to stay connected.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up with your young children and give them ALL of you. I certainly do it. Being a mama is amazing, but being intentional about being a wife too can be just as rewarding.